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Masturbation in Marriage- Is it Okay?



Understanding Masturbation in Marriage

Masturbation, or the act of self-pleasuring, isn't explicitly mentioned in the Bible. Commonly referenced is the story of Onan in Genesis, which is often misunderstood as a condemnation of masturbation. However, the true critique in this passage is against Onan's refusal to fulfill his family duty, not the act of spilling seed itself.


Matthew 5:27-30 discusses lust and adultery, hinting at self-induced sin without directly naming masturbation. While it's a stretch to definitively say Jesus was referring to masturbation, the passage does invite us to consider how actions align with sinful desires.


Is Masturbation a Sin?

Defining sin as anything that does not honor God’s glory, masturbation becomes a gray area dependent on intent and context. Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 10:31 and Romans 14:23 remind us that our actions, even in privacy, should glorify God and stem from faith.


Verses from 1 Corinthians and Galatians emphasize the importance of self-control and not succumbing to fleshly desires, which can conflict with the Spirit. This suggests that if masturbation is practiced in ways that compromise one’s spiritual integrity or marital connection, it could be problematic.


When Might Masturbation Be Considered Acceptable in Marriage?

Masturbation becomes less black and white in certain marital contexts:

  • Long-Distance Relationships: For couples separated by physical distance, such as military deployment or extended business travel, masturbation might act as a temporary measure of maintaining sexual fidelity. Yet, it requires open communication, mutual consent, and aligning with spiritual convictions.

  • Mutual Masturbation: Within the intimate setting of marriage, couples might engage in mutual masturbation as a form of sexual exploration and connection, enhancing their intimacy without replacing traditional forms of sexual relations.

  • Personal Exploration: Discovering one's body to enhance mutual sexual pleasure is often seen as beneficial, provided it is shared and consented within the marriage.


Reflecting on Personal and Mutual Boundaries

For masturbation to fit within the healthy boundaries of marriage, it should:

  • Not replace intercourse or regular intimate relations.

  • Not involve lustful thoughts of anyone other than one's spouse.

  • Be openly discussed and agreed upon between spouses, ensuring it does not foster secrecy or shame.


Concluding Thoughts

Masturbation in marriage is a nuanced subject that requires honest reflection and open communication between partners. It’s essential to consider how these actions align with your personal faith, marital health, and spiritual integrity.


If you want to hear more thoughts on this topic, come and listen to our episode here!

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