Alright, friends, let’s go there—because you’ve asked, and we’re not afraid to dive into the topics you’re curious about. Oral sex in marriage: Is it okay? What does the Bible say? Should we even be asking these questions? Spoiler alert: Yes, we should! Because God’s design for sex is worth exploring, and we believe marriage thrives when we ask the hard questions and have the important conversations.
Oh, and by the way, if this blog whets your appetite (pun absolutely intended), you’ll want to check out episodes 112–115 of our podcast. It’s a four-part series all about oral sex, covering anatomy, cunnilingus, and fellatio. Trust us—it’s as thorough as it gets. Go listen after you finish reading this. You’re welcome.
Is Oral Sex in the Bible?
First, let’s address the elephant in the room: The Bible doesn’t explicitly mention oral sex. That might leave you scratching your head—or maybe breathing a sigh of relief! But just because it’s not spelled out doesn’t mean God leaves us clueless. Scripture provides principles for intimacy in marriage that guide us into what’s loving, holy, and beneficial.
Here’s what we know for sure:
Sex is a gift. God didn’t design it as a boring, mechanical act. It’s meant to be a joy-filled, bonding experience for married couples (Proverbs 5:18-19, anyone?).
Sex should honor God. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies are temples. Whatever we do, including how we express intimacy, should glorify Him.
Sex is about unity. Genesis 2:24 speaks of two becoming one flesh. Physical intimacy is meant to draw you closer, not create division or shame.
Sex is selfless. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 encourages us to care for each other’s needs, not just our own.
So, what about oral sex? If it’s God-honoring, consensual, and brings you closer together, many Christian couples find it a beautiful addition to their marriage bed. But let’s break it down a bit more.
Ask the Big Questions
When considering oral sex, or any sexual act for that matter, it’s important to ask a few key questions:
Is it loving? Does this act honor your spouse and bring joy to your intimacy?
Is it consensual? Are both of you on board, or is there discomfort or hesitation?
Is it constructive? As 1 Corinthians 10:23 says, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Does this act build your relationship or introduce guilt or tension?
Does it glorify God? Your marriage bed should reflect the love, respect, and unity God designed.
Every couple will answer these questions differently, and that’s okay. Marriage is a journey, not a checklist. What works beautifully for one couple might feel uncomfortable for another—and that’s where communication, prayer, and grace come in.
Navigating Common Concerns
One of the most common questions we get is, “Is it okay to enjoy oral sex as Christians?” Many people feel unsure because it’s not a topic they’ve ever heard discussed in church. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Your marriage is sacred. God gave you and your spouse the freedom to enjoy each other within the boundaries of marriage. Don’t let unnecessary guilt creep in.
Be mindful of past experiences. For couples with histories of pornography or sexual trauma, certain acts may bring up negative feelings. Respect each other’s boundaries and be sensitive to what’s healing versus harmful.
Talk about it. Yes, it might feel awkward at first, but intimacy thrives on communication. Take the time to check in with each other.
How to Approach It
If you’re considering oral sex but feel unsure, here’s our advice:
Pray about it. Seriously, ask God for wisdom in your marriage bed.
Start with a conversation. Share your thoughts, hesitations, or excitement with your spouse.
Be patient. If one of you isn’t ready, that’s okay. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
And let’s just say it—if you need some practical help or more info (ahem, technique talk), episodes 112–115 of our podcast are waiting for you. It’s like sitting down with a couple of friends who’ve done the homework for you.
The Takeaway
At the end of the day, intimacy in marriage is about more than technique or what’s “allowed.” It’s about drawing closer to your spouse and reflecting God’s love in your relationship. If oral sex feels right for your marriage and aligns with biblical principles, enjoy it as the gift it can be. If not, there are countless other ways to connect and grow together.
Marriage is a journey of love, laughter, and discovery—so lean into the process. And when in doubt, remember this: God designed sex to be joyful, unifying, and holy. Your marriage bed is a safe space to explore what that looks like for you and your spouse.
Now go hit play on those podcast episodes—we’ll see you there!
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